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Sometimes my depressive mood manifests itself into laying on the floor feeling void right after feeling something when I pray. Sometimes it’s because I don’t feel anything when I pray. Sometimes it’s because I felt too much during the day. It feels okay to just lay there and not want to move or be motivated by anything to move.

In 2018 I’ve spoken and written a lot on letting go of people ; especially ones that don’t reciprocate your friendship (or any type of relationship) and it has been therapeutic for me to follow through by disengaging and retreating. We can have our hands extended out for so long before it starts to hurt not being held by someone else - I also think it’s pure and honest to communicate those feelings - to let people know how you feel, to open yourself and be vulnerable and express yourself. Please continue articulating your thoughts/feelings to people. 

your power is in your kindness - be kind.

(that doesn’t mean you bend over backwards and allow people to manipulate you, take advantage of you, or harm you)

How do I teach my heart to forgive the hurt- my mind to forget the pain.

Exhaling the negativity before I inhale it, becomes thoughts and manifests itself into action.

life’s treating you well? cool. allow people to go through the shit they’re in and hopefully, eventually land where you are or better. for the time being, go about your life looking ahead, not behind you. 

don’t invalidate anyone’s feelings for any reason. 

You were made to be here - as you are. But as you are is not mediocre - as you are is not lukewarm - as you are is not average. As you are is constant growth, moving upward towards the stars - & you know that the you and the stars are made of the same elements. So, excel - be bright - be just as you are and who you were made to be. You were made to be here - as you are: a fascination. 

Things to start or continue saying for the betterment of myself -

  • I said no.
  • I don’t talk about my personal life.
  • I don’t want to be friends anymore.
  • No - I don’t like that.
  • I don’t want to talk - when I do, I’ll reach out.
  • Can you help me?
  • No - I don’t understand.
  • I don’t accept your apology.
  • I need a mental health day.
  • I am sorry, I was wrong.
  • You’re right, I made a mistake.

Feel free to add statements you want to start saying or continue saying with confidence. 

I used to come home to my thoughts - chaotic, all over the place. I cringed at me talking too much, not enough - not laughing at a joke, laughing too much. I cringed at all my thoughts - shouted at them. I shouted so hard I lost my peace and I felt my mind go through darkness, a void.

I learned to come home to my thoughts, sit them down and tell them to be still. I learned to allow them to teach me how to be better, speak clearer, louder, softer - I learned to listen to them and I gained my peace. My mind is clearer, quieter.