As salamu alaikum. I don't know why I'm here because I think I already know what you're going to say. But maybe I just want to hear something beautiful. I'm stuck. I feel like there's a giant black whole in my chest and every time I think I'm getting away from it, it seems to suck me back in. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an out of body experience, watching myself from the outside. And the other times I just find myself crying all the time. I've been pretending things are ok, but they're not.
Wa alykum asalaam ! Haha, no one ever knows what I’m going to say. Ever. But ugh if you want to hear something beautiful, you’re at the wrong doorstep, sugarplum.
Thing is, when you constantly immerse yourself in a thought, you tend to lose yourself and your sanity in it. A thought is like a black hole within a black hole within a black hole. & the deeper you find yourself in some of them , the more you’ll think about it, and the more your life will revolve around it. You don’t want that. You want to end the cycle of abuse and pain and hurt and there’s only one solution that has been proven to work time and time again: turn to Allaah. None of your problems and situations will resolve if you think you can take care of them yourself or if you think some other person can take care of them for you. You take your problems to Allaah, your pain to him, your hurt to him, your struggles to him. How? You pray and when you pray; you PRAY. You focus on what your’e saying, you have kushoo’, you cry, you love, you act upon what you know, you know his names and attributes , you study and divulge yourself in the concept of Tawheed, you read His words, you follow His Prophets, His Messengers, you develop patience, trust in Allaah, sincerity in your actions, etc.
Things are not always okay, and when they’re not; you know to do something about them. In such a case, you know what to do and I believe you know what to do. We all know what to do, we just need reminders. & in the remembrance of Allaah, do hearts find rest. & after every hardship comes ease. Verily, after every hardship comes ease. Turn to Allaah and He will turn all your problems right side up.
That made sense, right? Right side up? make your problems right? I hope anything I said helped :)